Grown Up

With no one to call or text

I sit in my dark room

Afraid of turning on the light

Because I no longer recognize myself

I grab the bottle of Hennessy from under my bed and binge it

Not the smartest move but I am tired

I am tired of living

Tired of thoughts devouring me

Tears uncontrollably run down my face

This is not what I wanted

It is not what I dreamed of

It is not what I worked hard for

This is not the dream they sold me

All I was searching for was freedom

And yet growing up feels like a burden





Labeled Human

With one heart
We all bleed red
Dressed in different coloured pigments
And hair structures
We stand tall
Defying gravity
We wear beautiful smiles
And we all cry the same
Our eye colour can be painted different
But we all use them to see
With our different ethnicities
Our world has become one beautiful place
Filled with never fading colour and culture
Why we wage war against other different pigmented people leaves me with emotional scars and a broken heart

Only death knows

We all believe in a power

Either ourselves or deities

And we are owned by these gods

Those above and those below

Hand made gods grow strong

And enslave our minds

They intoxicate our lives

And we worship them for it

Old gods slowly fade out

With their rules and consequences

We say fuck it

As we search for new ones

We all believe in a power

We shed innocent blood

And ruin lives for that power

Yet only the dead know the entire truth

We all need a hand

Sometimes the pain fades away

And sometimes it builds up

You pretend to be numb

But when the world sleeps

You turn off the lights and lock your door

Lay down on your bed or floor

Tears run down your cheeks

As you hold back mourns from gushing out of your mouth

Your heart hurts and you wonder how you never have a seizure

Some of you fight of a panic attack

It is too much to get other people engaged

You comfort yourself by saying it is your battle

And sometimes

Someone is seated outside your locked door

They do not know how to help

But they seat there hoping that one night

You will let them in

They wait for a day you will mourn in their arms

And the darkness won’t be so dark anymore