When night falls,
Breathing gets heavy.
Thoughts run wild and the body lays paralyzed
and only eyes move from left to right,
filled with fear;
fear that births monsters.
I fear sunrise and the mental pain I will face
when day breaks through.
The weight of the chains around my heart and soul.
The pride of thinking I can take care of myself.
The prayers that feel like they carry no weight.
The questions on how I am doing.
They all scream at me.
I feel the fear deep in my veins;
making my heart race,
my body tremble,
and my mind implode.
The birds tweet and I smell the sun.
My demons flee to fight another night.
I now lay confused and trouble,
wearing a fake smile as I mourn inside.
No one has to know.
I whisper that “I am okay and I will be fine”,
as I struggle to get out of bed and face the world.