I just feel trapped
Even under the light
No longer comfortable in my own skin
I hear my soul crying out
Not in toture or pain
But it screams out for pain
I flee from soul degrading sin and still it doesn’t make me less a sinner
It makes me feel even more worthless
Unworthy to die for or love
By this majestic being who doesn’t even need me
The God of all gods?
Who am I to Him?
My mind speaks volumes of the broken vessels he told me to keep holy.
I am ashamed of what I am.
I try to live without Him yet know that my very existence is because of His grace
Cold yet warm my mind is
Lost and confused
Knowing what is right yet been led by the flesh
Reading His mighty words
And i try to believe Him
But the picture the world has painted
Makes it hard to believe
The anguish and pain.
Men have become gods to other men
And His word says He allows all evil and good
But evil out weighs good
A good imbalance?
I will never know.
I will die in anguish and curiousity for my many question will have unsatisfactory answers or go an answered