I hear its thunderous battle cries,
Already proclaiming victory over me.
I wonder whether I am calm or scared;
It seems I have forgotten how to fight back.
Let it in
Then let it go,
whispers the air around me.
But what if I enjoy it too much?
What if I don’t want to let go?
That beautiful feel of loneliness,
battling to get out of bed.
Dreading being around people;
Wanting to be alone always.
Demons screaming in my head.
The joy from the cutting and intoxicating of myself.
The excitement of heights and learning to fly, once.
The calling out of my dark poetic self with a twisted mind.
What if I feed on the pain just way to much?
I am terrified of going back.
But what will I do when the voices take over,
and my powerless self fails to hold it back?