I set an alarm for 5:30am and force my body to sleep.
At 4:50am I am wide awake with no energy to leave my bed,
I decide to talk to God.
With nothing to say
I succumb to the void and frenzy chi of my mind.
Tears run down my face and before I know it
Its 7:00am in the morning.
Feeling lazy to shower
I brush my teeth and wash my face
Pop two anti depressants and head out.
The up and down highs of joy
and sadness torment me.
Eventually its evening and I am seduced by the sirens call of a cigarette.
I was happy once but my stupid heart got in the way.