At 3:30am

I set an alarm for 5:30am and force my body to sleep.

At 4:50am I am wide awake with no energy to leave my bed,

I decide to talk to God.

With nothing to say

I succumb to the void and frenzy chi of my mind.

Tears run down my face and before I know it

Its 7:00am in the morning.

Feeling lazy to shower

I brush my teeth and wash my face

Pop two anti depressants and head out.

The up and down highs of joy

and sadness torment me.

Eventually its evening and I am seduced by the sirens call of a cigarette.

I was happy once but my stupid heart got in the way.