I ask myself if having you back in my life would heal me,
but I end up thinking I am addicted. Addicted to how you made me feel or just you.
I see the highs when I talk to you and I feel the lows when I don’t.
I no longer know if its love or a shadow of memories we shared.
I can go months without thinking of you but when I do, I spiral up emotions locked deep in me. Feelings I always think I don’t have.
It is easy to say goodbye and wish you a better life but my heart still holds on.
You’re not to blame. I just have no control over my emotions when it comes to you.
Hopefully one day I will look back at all of this and smile but till then I still beat for you. I do not do this to come in between you and him.
I blew what I had and I am glad someone can feel how I felt or still feel.
Funny how life is.