I can feel happy but I am not happy.
I am empty inside.
And it keeps building up.
I feel like prayer wont change me.
I feel stagnant everywhere.
I feel failure and a disappointment.
I feel mechanic. I feel dead.
Drowning in my unforgiving past and unknown future.
Wishing for calmness from my thoughts and their whispers.
Sleep has become an escape.
A beautiful escape when nightmares decide to stay at bay.