I have been thinking of being normal of late,
And It scares me.
I look into the mirror and wonder; maybe my reflection is normal.
I feel like I have nothing beyond this depression.
What do I do with a happy ever after?
What happens when I am no longer lonely?
What happens when I can remember what I did today?
What happens when those heart piercing random thoughts stop?
What does happiness feel like?
Because when people say you look happy
Or you seemed happy
I have a million thoughts that I am suppressing,
Hiding the weight of it because I do not want you to continue talking to me.
I am going to cry about it when I am alone in the dark.
The night is the best psychiatrist.
No, I do not enjoy being depressed
But it is all I know.