I have been thinking of being normal of late,

And It scares me.

I look into the mirror and wonder; maybe my reflection is normal.

I feel like I have nothing beyond this depression.

What do I do with a happy ever after?

What happens when I am no longer lonely?

What happens when I can remember what I did today?

What happens when those heart piercing random thoughts stop?

What does happiness feel like?

Because when people say you look happy

Or you seemed happy

I have a million thoughts that I am suppressing,

Hiding the weight of it because I do not want you to continue talking to me.

I am going to cry about it when I am alone in the dark.

The night is the best psychiatrist.

No, I do not enjoy being depressed

But it is all I know.