I woke up in shock. Heavy breaths. I was about to panic.
With all my might, I rolled out of bed to get to my phone.
It was 3 in the morning. I had been asleep for only 2hrs.
My mind was still racing. And I was disappointed.
Disappointed in God.
I sat on the cold floor getting swallowed in a sinkhole of thoughts.
After a day of Worship and Praise? I couldn’t believe it.
You are my Strong and Might Warrior (Psalm 24:8).
You are my Fortress (Psalm18:2). Why would this happen?
Why would I be defiled when you protect me (Psalm 18:2)?
My thoughts fed on me, the Joy from yesterday was gone.
The dream kept running in my mind. I was defiled.
I felt so unclean. Ashamed of how I let myself be violated.
I blamed myself for this Spiritual Attack. I felt so deserted and alone.
I felt rejected and unworthy of Gods protection.
The cold floor no longer gave me comfort.
I stood and walked over to my bed after switching of the light.
As I lay in the warmth of my bed, I remembered John 16:3
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!
I have overcome the world.”
Then God reminded me of the Words He had told me yesterday.
- Don’t you know that you are loved?
- Don’t you know that Angels envy you?
- Don’t you know that the Devil envies you?
I found some comfort in that and weirdly I fell asleep.