I woke up in shock. Heavy breaths. I was about to panic.

With all my might, I rolled out of bed to get to my phone.

It was 3 in the morning. I had been asleep for only 2hrs.

My mind was still racing. And I was disappointed.

Disappointed in God.


I sat on the cold floor getting swallowed in a sinkhole of thoughts.

After a day of Worship and Praise? I couldn’t believe it.

You are my Strong and Might Warrior (Psalm 24:8).

You are my Fortress (Psalm18:2). Why would this happen?

Why would I be defiled when you protect me (Psalm 18:2)?


My thoughts fed on me, the Joy from yesterday was gone.

The dream kept running in my mind. I was defiled.

I felt so unclean. Ashamed of how I let myself be violated.

I blamed myself for this Spiritual Attack. I felt so deserted and alone.

I felt rejected and unworthy of Gods protection.


The cold floor no longer gave me comfort.

I stood and walked over to my bed after switching of the light.

As I lay in the warmth of my bed, I remembered John 16:3

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!

I have overcome the world.”

Then God reminded me of the Words He had told me yesterday.

  1. Don’t you know that you are loved?
  2. Don’t you know that Angels envy you?
  3. Don’t you know that the Devil envies you?

I found some comfort in that and weirdly I fell asleep.




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